Lowman S. Henry

Commentary:

Golden Snout Awards

‘Snouties’ pay tribute to Harrisburg’s finest

by Lowman S. Henry, CEO
Lincoln Institute of Public Opinion Research

It seems these days that everybody is giving an award to somebody. There are high profile awards, like the Academy Awards and the People’s Choice Awards. And then there are lesser known awards, like the Golden Apple Award program announced this week by Pennsylvania House Speaker John Perzel.

That got me to thinking that there should be awards for our state elected officials, especially since they have been in the news a lot this summer. The middle-of-the-night pay raise was a bit piggish, and our new accolades should reflect that. Thus shall be born the Golden Snout Awards. To compete with the big guys, our awards should have a nickname, like the Oscars. So, let’s call the Golden Snout Awards the Snouties.

The winners of this year’s Snouties are difficult to pick. After all, our elected officials have been falling all over themselves trying to outdo each other in looking ridiculous and out of touch. And at this they have met with much success. So, let us take a look at the major categories and pick some preliminary winners:

The Darth Vader Snoutie – goes to House Democrat Leader Bill DeWeese who chopped the limbs off of his own young by taking away plum committee assignments from those representatives who did not vote for the pay raise.

Best Mea Culpa Snoutie – is awarded to State Representative Tom Creighton who, after voting for the pay raise, apologized for compromising his conservative principles, then sponsored a bill to rescind the raise.

Marie Antoinette Snoutie – A clear winner here is State Representative Jacqueline Crahalla who, in reaction to angry constituent calls, said “The nastier people get, the more stubborn I get.” Yeah, let them eat cake!

Biggest (Knee) Jerk Snoutie – yields a winner from the judicial branch. The Snoutie goes to Supreme Court Chief Justice Ralph Cappy who thinks all of us who are angry at the pay raise just don’t get it. No mystery movie here, we know who just doesn’t get it.

The Spinning Top Snoutie – to the ever nimble Governor Ed Rendell who lobbied for the pay raise, signed the bill into law, and then said he would sign a repeal of the raise. Best tap dance performance since ‘Singing in the Rain.’

Biggest Yellow Strip Snoutie – finds us with a tie! The first winner is House Speaker John Perzel who strong-armed his caucus into voting for the pay raise, then skipped the country for a month when the fecal matter hit the fan. As co-winners we have the entire House Democrat Caucus who let little ole Bill DeWeese stomp on them and didn’t fight back. Not only aren’t they Rocky, they are even Steel Magnolias.

Two-Faced Snoutie – again multiple winners: All those legislators who voted against the pay raise, and then took it.

Great Communicator Snoutie – goes jointly to Senate Minority Leader Bob Mellow who was less that subtle in telling a protesting taxpayer to “get a life,” and to State Representative Daylin Leach who attempted to justify the pay grab by writing an op-ed in the Philadelphia Inquirer when the rest of the bunch made like Osama bin Laden and hid in their caves.

The Wide Receiver Snoutie – for all those legislators who really wanted to vote for the pay hike, but received a “pass” from leadership because they don’t come from “safe” districts. (Could also be nominated for the Yellow Strip Snoutie.)

I’m sure you could come up with a few categories and nominees of your own. You will notice there is no ‘Profile in Courage Snoutie.’ That’s because not one legislator had the courage to stand up on the floor of the House or Senate and argue against the raise. In many ways Harrisburg is just like Hollywood, perception is reality and what you see isn’t always real.

Lowman Henry is Chairman & CEO of the Lincoln Institute of Public Opinion Research, Inc., a Harrisburg-based non-profit, educational foundation, and host of the Lincoln Radio Journal.